Parenting...

I remember reading in a Today's Parent, or the newspaper, or somewhere about how the new trend is to be the crappy parent rather than the really great parent. By this they mean that rather than try to one-up other parents in the "look what a great involved and hands on parent I am" department, parents try to one up each other in the opposite manner. I witnessed this first hand the other day. It was a rainy and horrible day when Paige was at Jack and Jill. The weather was so horrible when I picked her up that there was no way we were rushing back to the car and instead decided to go to the library and treehouse play structure in the building to kill time. A couple of other parents and kids from the class had the same idea and were sitting in the play area. One of the moms says, "On a day like today the tv will literally be on all day". The other mom says back to her, "I am the worst at crafts. I don't like doing them at all so we just don't do them. I am so not creative".


In a way this nothing to hide attitude is refreshing. I don't think the tv being on all day is the best for anybody involved in that household, but I would prefer to hear another mom be honestly lazy then blab on about how many great rainy day activities she has planned for her kids. Every time I hear one of these similar parental shortcomings I breath a little sigh of relief. On a rainy day I may have the tv on a little more than the maximum "allowed" limit, but I will play with Paige a bit, make a little craft, listen to a little kids music. And sometimes I feel guilty. I think sometimes parents would prefer to start at the bottom and work their way up, rather than bragging about being the best parent and not being able to live up to their self-set expectations. There's nothing wrong with this attitude I say. It's not as if anyone is out there bragging about how their kid has not showered in a week, or brushed their teeth for 2 days, because that would be wrong.


And is it wrong to just let your kid work out their own problems with other kids? I decided to take a step back in the whole problem resolution area. Far too many times was I jumping in and trying to solve a problem. If Paige is blatantly mean to someone, pushing or hitting them etc. I will make sure to step in. But as we were at the park the other week Paige growled at another kid startling them. I said sorry to the kid and then to the Grandma, who proceeded to shrug and say, "they're just kids". You're right, I thought. Enough is enough. We can't constantly apologize for kids being kids. Of course Paige's problem solving and sharing skills are not top notch and I will need to help her sort through some things with some apologies on the way, but if she is just being a kid in a reasonable sort of manner and occasionally buds in front of someone to get up the slide, or takes a toy that a kid put down for a second, I'm not rushing in. Sometimes she needs to learn what is right and wrong from the other kids' reaction, rather than my own. This kind of helicopter parenting is getting way out of hand, at least in my area. And I, on the other side of the equation, don't need to wait for 5 minutes as you try to force your 13 month old to apologise to paige for accidentally sliding into her, or bouncing your ball into her. It's OK. I don't think you're any less of a parent. Accidents happen and "they're just kids".