We created a problem that I don't know how to fix. The other day, while in her highchair, Paige made a mess so great that we couldn't help but say "No!" "no throwing food", etc. etc. Ever since then she has been chucking food to see the reaction. Yesterday she made another big mess in the blink of an eye by dumping a soup bowl. We made her stand in the corner--Big mistake # 2. She now is throwing food and immediately asking to stand in the corner. She says "corner?" as in, "if they put me in the corner I will be out of my chair! ha ha ha suckers!" Today we had applesauce all over the wall. One second she was eating the applesauce, and the next second it was on the wall. Granted, she has an extremely small appetite the past few days which accounts for why she would just be bored in her chair with her food but still! Can't we just go back to "all done? ALL DONE! down DOWN DOWN MOMMY DOOOOWWWNNN" I prefer that to the food chucking.
In regards to the time out, it generally doesn't work for Paige, I guess we just tried it with the food incident to see what would happen. It reaffirmed that it does nothing. I guess the thing is she wasn't wanting to stay in her chair, so why would she care if she was taken out of the chair for a time out? She responds best to discipline that is directly related to the behaviour. Ie. If she starts colouring on the table I tell her only colour on the paper. If she does it again I take the crayons away which makes her upset. I tell her why they have been taken away, and she is usually fine to continue with only colouring on the paper. If she were to then colour on the table again I take this as she does not want to play with these again (obviously only using them to get a reaction rather than have fun playing with them), and redirect her to another activity. So that pretty much works with no freak outs.
So anyway, applying the same principles to the food throwing is what I have to work with. Take away the food and even take her out of her chair or give her something else to do. I'm just wondering if this is rewarding negative behaviour, or just redirecting?
Oh well, we'll see what tomorrow brings. She's obviously been sick, and today she had so much fun at the pool and the indoor and outdoor playgrounds that she was really tired out by lunch and dinner time. So maybe tomorrow will be better.
4 comments:
Oh boy, get ready for the fun! I still, still can't get Leyla to stop chucking food. The more I acknowledge it, the more she does it too. I couldn't help though today--I just washed the floor!
Ignoring the undesirable behaviour, praising the desired behaviour, redirecting and planning for success work best for us. If you need her to stay in the chair longer, for example, be prepared to swap out a toy for the food really quickly. The seasons are changing, and so are appetites, I'm finding. Don't sigh or flinch if she does it--that encourages my kid. I've been encouraging Leyla to put stuff she doesn't want to eat in the corner of her tray when she doesn't want to eat it. But really, it's social experiment.
It is getting better, but we had at least six months of hell. Lots of extra cleaning required--the walls, floor, curtains, the kid. Enjoy it as much as you can. I also tried getting Leyla to clean her mess too. It sort of works...she thinks cleaning is a great game so i don't see the message sinking in.
Oh., my "calling ALL Grammas"!!!!! Advice is needed. I really agree with your friend Cara. My suggestion is the same., behavior good or bad is usually done to receive a reaction. Reminding her that this is not nice and outting her down is a good thing. Remember it wont last long. Love gramma Val
Awwww food chucking? that has got to be frustrating! Let us know how it pans out! Aunty Jen XOXOXO
HHHmmm this whole scenario just gives me the horrors. I never had this happen as my kids were all hungry at mealtimes. I cannot remember a time when everything ended up on the floor, the walls, curtains etc. I don't think it hurts a child one bit to know that this sort of behavior is upsetting to you. For starters I would go back to feeding her. When she is ready to do it herself, NICELY, then you can give her the bowl and spoon, as long as you are watching her eat. Manners have to start somewhere. I can't see how trading off a toy, or distracting her from bad behavior gets anyone anywhere??? However, I'M OLD, so what do I know about raising children today. hahaha. Love Gramama
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